Tile saws will cut through wine bottles, with enough effort. Partly, anyway, and then you can do a controlled hammering in order to break the rest of it.

A dremel with a polishing stone will smooth out the sharp edges, and what you're left with is a vase that can hold flowers for your sweetheart - as well as something that will remind you both of that excellent vacation up to New York State's wine country.

Highly recommended: using a face mask to avoid breathing in glass dust. And sweeping up afterward.

Breaking my body is a delightful and hilarious pastime of mine. Boy howdy, do I have stories.

Oddly enough, a few years ago, Laura pointed out that as I started riding bikes everywhere, my injury rate started going down dramatically.

Except, you know, sometimes strange things happen. A couple of beers, a late-night ride home through quiet streets, and a largely unobserved tumble while taking a tight turn at about 26 mph. It'll leave you with a bruise on your hip if you play your cards right.

But the strange part is what happened two weeks later, while racing at the Trexlertown Velodrome. I pushed myself up to the leaders in a points race, hauled ass around the steeply banked track, and threw all the strength of my legs and arms into a sprint to win points that placed me 3rd in the race.

Legs shaking, I cooled down, dismounted, and walked toward my water bottle; when my hand touched my hip, I felt a distinct bulge sticking out from my hip. It was like somebody embedded a tender lime underneath my skin. It was a visible bump sticking straight out from my left hip. Apparently the sprint just made this older bruise congeal and pop up and swell and do whatever.

I've never had that happen before.

Don't break your body!

Still breaking

Hey everyone. So I post a lot around here about how I'm going to start posting around here. But for real.

Just to touch base on the street cred:
since we last spoke, the following have been broke:

+ My windshield
+ My heart
+ My wrist (almost... dislocated)
+ A bike wheel
+ The economy

Now, I know that there've been a lot of promises here about starting up again. Those too have been broken. But with all of the above to fix, there will be much to write about.

Planned articles for the near and distant future:

- How to Build a Bike Wheel
- How to read spraypainted marks on abandoned buildings
- How to Re-fret a guitar (I'm interested in learning this one too)
- How to make your bike fast without being a rich kid.

At the moment, my project is number three. In response to the broken heart up above, I made an impulsive purchase when I found a cheap 1975 Takamine guitar, an exact copy of a martin dreadnaught. She sounds beautiful, but her frets are worn down to the fretboard. I figure, a re-fret costs upwards of $200. But fretwire costs $15.

So why not, right?

Love and wingnuts,
-Evan

How to Break your Readership

Just letting you all know that How To Break Stuff is about to make a comeback.
After graduation, I traveled a bit, relaxed, broke a *ton* of things, and got a job. Now that I'm on my feet enough to buy tools but not on my feet enough to not need them, I feel primed and ready to continue HtBS. As usual, feel free to send in questions, either to howtobreakstuff(at)gmail.com, or directly to my personal address... which is somewhere around here.

And just so you know I haven't been slacking off, in the past few months I have:

*Overheated a car
*Perforated rubber vacuum tubing
*Re-soldered an Anti-lock Brake computer (it saved my ass on the highway tonight... it worked!)
*Operated an oxy-propane torch
*Trued a bicycle wheel
*Learned to counter-steer on an old british racing bike
*Drunkenly tripped on a pile of garbage while running down 14th Street in Manhattan at 2 on a Thursday morning.

So don't you worry. Someone dumber and more lucky than you is about to start posting on again. And that someone is me...

Happy Love and Tinkering, friends.
-esb

What I've Learned About Ballbearings

Ball bearings are important. Maybe, you've spent an evening drinking wine and thinking, "Gee, I really need to repack my hubs." So you do, but then while you're tapping the bearings out of the old, disgustingly filthy grease, they drop into your cup filled with degreaser but then bounce out and roll around and get lost. So then, you say, "Man, fuck this. Bearings don't really need balls."

Incorrect. Without balls, you've just got metal rubbing against metal. With balls, you've got metal rolling against metal.

If you're like me, you've wondered if there's a golden rule or two for how to get yourself from a crappy bearing interface to an awesome one. If you're occasionally like Evan, you've forsaken research in favor of finding out some functional guidelines:

1. Phil Wood's Waterproof Grease. Jesus, this stuff is:
a: greasey!
b: slippery!
c: tenacious!
2. Slick Honey, another grease, does not taste:
a: like honey.
b: delicious in any way.
3. You should not stick too many or too few balls in a bearing assembly. Too few means that the weight of, say, your bike, is being born on a weak, unstable setup. Too many will overload the interface and provide you with a terrible, terrible bearing assembly. What is too many? Put bearings in your cups until you can not fit one more in. Then, take one out. This is the right number.

What am I getting at, in my wordy manner? That I got a wheel for free because it sucked, and I made it awesome.

If We Had a Katana

A segment wherein we list what would happen:

+ We could cut pizza from several more feet away.
+ We could get stopped at international customs checkpoints.
+ We could make "your mom" jokes with impunity.
+ Except to ninjas.

Safety Workshop, March 7th

On Wednesday, March 7th, at 9pm on the top floor of the Campus Center (whichever conference room is open), I will be giving a small, informal presentation on respirator safety (care, selection, etc) and basic first aid/health-and-safety tips for volunteers going down to New Orleans. If you are interested and want to be notified of the details, email me at howtobreakstuff_at_gmail.com.

-Evan

The Sketchy Equipment Bake Sale

So, Gavin and I have been taking inventory over at our beloved workspace, the Labs of Albert and Albert... Everything is in order: disassembled lawnmower engines, old car parts, hacksaws, respirators, maps of the Antarctic--the list goes on and on. But there are some new toys that would just make our day and assist in a whole bunch of projects. I, for one, have my eye on a nice entry-level Oxy-MAPP cutting/welding torch. Gavin just wants oodles of fountain pens. Also a saws-all.

And so, to that end, we announce the How to Break Stuff Sketchy Equipment Fund Bake Sale. Next week, weather permitting, we will be selling baked goods, probably outside of the Campus Center, to supplement our tool box. So pitch in. It's a good cause. And will probably lead to more breakage of stuff.

How To Break Stuff: Bicycle Edition part 3

The staff of How To Break Stuff has been hard at work on figuring out new and unique ways to break things like bodies and machines that don't run on blood and oxygen.

After years of research, I've determined that racing an alleycat for track bikes with no breaks in the middle of winter, just a few days after a snowfall, would be a terrific way to break my body, my bike, or both.

It's called Monster Track and it holds a special place in alleycat lore as the biggest, most infamous, most prestigious race there is.

The first section had 160+ riders hauling ass up 1st Avenue in Manhattan. I was lucky enough to be included in a little bit of sweet helmetcam footage, which can be found in better, non-Youtube style here and, of course, here:



However, the research did not pay off, and I managed to break neither body or bike during the race. Data from the afterparty remains to be analyzed.

How to hint that you would like to be kissed

For our readers, from personal experience:
-----------------
Step 1. Put the crowbar down.

Step 2. Put a bandanna in your hair to hide the motor oil

Step 3. Stop talking about "what a great idea" you just had.

Step 4. Seriously, put the crowbar down.

Power Tool Review: Episode I - MAPP GAS and YOU

a FOR SCIENCE production.

How To Not Break Certain Bodily Stuff

What with the recent and not-so-recent (and highly admirable) work that friends of mine have been doing in New Orleans, I figured it would be fitting to spread this zine across the internet. It is An Activist's Guide to Health and Safety in New Orleans, and can be found on the website of STORM-NYC, an activist medical health collective.

Hopefully this can be useful to any other readers of How To Break Stuff who plan to go to NOLA again, or who know people planning to go to NOLA again. Knowledge is power, safety is strength, and bodies are tools to keep in good working order.

Ha! Snow!

Wesleyan has received it's first snow of the year, and with that I foresee a Saturday night rife with trying to slide interesting combinations of things down Foss Hill at high speeds.

Updates to follow.

Structural Integrity and You: a quick, dirty and woefully incomplete guide to making educated guesses about building stability.

OK. First, a disclaimer. One that holds for everything here at HtBS,
but holds especially true for this post. I am not an engineer, I am not an
architect. I am an undergraduate student of two social sciences that
are particularly removed from reality: Philosophy and Government Theory. The information below has come to
my personal aid in my personal misadventures (that's me in the pic), but it is not to be taken as authoritative in any fashion. If you have qualms about the structural integrity of a building, stay out of
it!!! There are people who know a lot more about this than me. This is not meant to encourage any of you to enter potentially dangerous structures. That said, some of you will anyway. Hell, some of you probably already do. And if that's the case, here are a few things about structure that you ought to keep in mind. (Oh, and remember that, on a long enough time line, in the words of Summer at Shatter Creek,
"Structure falls apart, and there's nothing you can do about it." Keep your wits about you.)

So. You want to know about buildings.
All of my experience comes from work in New Orleans, where foundations are just pilings because of the high water table. most of these houses are single story, and the structures are all relatively small. the task at had was to assess whether the houses could be safely gutted, and so it was taken for granted that we could peel off drywall in order to examine the wall studs or ceiling beams. So, as always, Extrapolate at your own risk.

You should equip yourself with (at least): a powerful flashlight, a decent-sized crowbar, and a hardhat.

Before you enter the Building in Question (B in Q for short), walk around it.
First, examine it from a distance. You'll need good eyes for this, and
a fair intuitive sense of geometry. Are it's lines straight? is the
line where the roof beginsparallel to the ground? If the structure has
siding or, for some other reason has lines on it that ought to be
parallel to the ground, are they? If not, or if these lines warp or
curve, this could indicate that the frame of the house is sagging in
particular areas--that for one reason or another the frame or
foundation in a particular section is no longer bearing the weight it's
supposed to. The same is true of cracks in a brick or plaster exterior.
Now some sagging is normal for old houses, and some sagging is purely
superficial (e.g. a brick face that's separated from the frame), but it's a good sign that you'll have to look deeper.

Get closer. Look for obvious problems. Look in the windows. Are there
ceiling beams hanging down? If so, you have a large problem on your
hands. Does the floor look intact? solid enough to walk on? Get up
close to a corner and follow the foundation or the line of pilings with
your eye. Does it warp at any point? If the B in Q is on pilings, are
theyperpendicular to the ground, or do they lean under the weight of
the B in Q? In the case of pilings, get on your knees and look under
the house with that flashlight of yours (told you to bring something
bright). Check to see that the pilings are under major floor beams. If
a few pilings tilt or lean, that's OK. Like I said, any old house is
going to shift and twist a little. But houses where the beams are no
longer on the pilings, or where the piling tilt or foundation warp is
extreme are not safe. If you are not sure, assume the worst. Be smart. These pilings have to bear the weight of the entire structure and distribute it safely to the ground on which they stand. If they don't
look up to the task, stay out! If everything looks acceptable to you, you may decide to enter.

If that hardhat wasn't already on, it's time to put it on. And realize that it's far from comprehensive protection. Now before we proceed, its time for a little informal theory. Now a building, minimalistically speaking, is four walls and a ceiling. Due to the ductile nature of wood, among other things, it doesn't make sense for the ceilings of most good sized houses to be comprised of singular beams running from
the top of one side wall to the top of it's opposite: the wood would sag in the center, and the overall structure would be flimsier. Enter the load-bearing wall, stage right. If one builds a third wall,in between the two side walls, the center of the ceiling beams can rest on this third wall, eliminating the sag and beefing up the structure. Indeed, the ceiling beams can now be made of two shorter pieces of wood (easier to acquire), one running from each side, jointed together with this joint supported by the third, center wall. This wall is known as the load-bearing wall. It is very important that you identify the load bearing wall, for it's integrity is crucial to the integrity of the overall structure. If you are standing on the threshold of the front door of the B in Q, then ceiling beams usually run perpendicular to your line of sight. The load-bearing wall, by its definition, runs perpendicular to the ceiling beams, in order to support them. Locate the direction of the ceiling beams and you can locate the load-bearing wall.

First, though, have a look around. Is the floor solid? If you can walk on it without it creaking or shifting, stomp on it a bit, and see if it still feels solid. Better yet, if that crowbar of yours is of good heft, whack the floor in front of you with a blunt end--better it go through a weak spot than your foot. Once you're sure of your footing, take note of the lines inside
the house. Are the doorframe angles all close to 90*, or do they seem to have shifted? if they've shifted, is there a pattern to the shift (i.e. are they all leaning in similar directions to similar extents) or are there shifts in all directions? The first indicates that the house is leaning, which can be dangerous. The second could indicate that different parts of the structure are leaning in different directions--that is, the structure is coming apart.

If all looks acceptable to you, it's time to have a look at the studs and beams themselves. You can do this by taking a crowbar to the plaster or drywall of the wall/ceiling, and having a little look. Of course, this part is destructive. When I was in New Orleans, we were assessing mold-affected houses to be gutted, and so the drywall/plaster already needed to come down. You may not have this luxury. If you don't, take your best guess at the load-bearing wall (in addition to what was said
before, it usually runs the length of the structure), locate a stud within it by tapping or using some fancy stud-finding device, and give the stud a good kick. If it's solid, and nothing else that you've seen so far makes you worry, chances are the structure is in decent condition. Rest easier, keep the hardhat on for good measure. If you can start tearing at the walls, however, then by all means, do so. Once you've identified the load-bearing wall, tap the ceiling joints with your crowbar. Are they solidly atop the load-bearing wall? Or is the wall misaligned underneath it, no longer supporting the beams at the joint where they meet? such misalignment can be the result of the warping we looked for
earlier. If the joints are not firmly atop the load-bearing wall, that wall is not doing its job, namely bearing the load. Be wary of the B in Q's structural integrity. If the joints are atop the LBW, give a few of its studs a solid tap or a firm kick to see that they're still connected at both ends, top and bottom. Be sure to check more than one spot on the load-bearing wall, as warping and shifting can be localized.

If all checks out up to this point, you can very cautiously say, to your self and in a quiet, non-authoritative voice, that the structure is in halfway decent shape. This, of course, says nothing of its long term durability or scientific soundness. In fact, this doesn't say much of anything at all. But should you find yourself in a building of dubious merit, this should help you know what to keep an eye out for.

How to break your health

Hey all. Apologies for the dry spell... Got very sick after my last trip to New Orleans. It's a motto of ours here at HtBS
that one can only abuse a machine as much as one takes care of it, and
apparently that's true of the human body as well. So, as always, equal
parts safety with your stupidity.

The trip was good, I learned a lot that will make its way here, from a quick-and-dirty set of methods for checking a building's structural integrity (definitely not comprehensive or foolproof) to inventive ways to repair engines with epoxy--all stuff that I can't wait to share. But bare with me as I recuperate.
Keep your tools and wits sharp, and I assure you, in due time, more stuff will be broken.

How being patient and being smart leaves you with quality products that you neither paid for nor stole.

There's a saying: buy it right, or buy it twice. This is a warning to anybody who thinks that the cheapest option is their best option merely because it's the cheapest; I experienced this with the first fixed-gear wheel that I bought. When I started to abuse the drivetrain a little bit, the threaded interface between the cog and the rear wheel stripped, leaving me with a useless hub.

For people like me, who like nice things but can't afford them, the trend of buying so right that you buy all the way to the top is frustrating to watch, because we can't take part in it. That's why I love Formula hubs so much - an affordable hubset ($70) that spins extremely smooth and is sealed well; and when the weather does break in to the seals and start to wear out the grease, you can pop out the cartridge bearings and pop in some new ones ($10).

Those that buy right to the top get Phil Wood hubs ($300). Burly and indestructible; a guy I was chatting with in Union Square told me, "I've been messengering on these hubs for seventeen years and haven't even changed the bearings." Plus, they come with the "no matter what happens, if they break or fail or get messed up, we'll replace them" guarantee. A damn good thing, considering the price tag.

But that kind of bling is not my style. So I'm left a little confused now that I'm the owner of a Phil Wood rear hub (solidly laced to a respectable Velocity Aerohead rim). I certainly don't need the quality of a Phil (and I didn't pay for it, dammit! I traded my Formula/Aerohead wheel, and you know what? I and the other both got something we needed out of it!) - it's not going to make me faster.

But the lesson here is that in order to get quality, you're a fool if you buy right up to the top. My Phil Wood is a tad smoother than my Formula was, completely unnoticable when I'm riding with a full bag and chain in winter clothes, but my midlevel Shimano front hub is remarkably smooth for a hub that only requires occasional (once in two years of owning this used wheel!) maintenance of loosening the bearings just a hair.

There's no substitute for knowing an industry and the specifics of its products. You could buy the sweetest thing there is, but chances are, there's something a little quieter waiting in the corners if you're patient - a great trade, or an under-valued component with really impressive seals on their loose-ball bearings. You can buy it right, you can buy it twice, or you can do something in the middle ground and feel really good about it.

Really quick How to Break Stuff Update. First, I just bought new respirator filters for a fourth New Orleans Trip, and I got a free hardhat for my order. So... what to do with it? We're open to suggestions. Second, the HtBS labs just acquired a relatively tame Nerf gun in preparation for an upcoming piece on nerf gun modification. The shootouts in the recent Zombies vs Humans were so-so, but you guys need some real firepower.
So that's what's up here. Keep sending in questions!

Cheap ways to Improve your Fuel Economy Part 1

So it's nearing holiday time, and those of us with automobiles are beginning to think about the long drive home. At the very least, it's better than thinking about finals. But, alas, we've been working hard. We've been spending what little money we have on a downward spiral of dates, comfort food and alcohol, neglecting our beloved old car until this, the moment that it delivers us from the trials of campus life to the heartbreak cure of the open road.... right? Is that just me? Anyway, If your car hasn't received any lovin' in a while, chances are the ride home will hurt your wallet. So HtBS presents you with the following ways to improve your car's fuel economy for under $20. These are cheap and easy to do. They require no tools, and next to no knowledge of automobiles. Part 2 will be more fun.


->Don't Drive like Evan: For serious. Gearing varies from car to car on what the highest efficient speed is, but across the board speeds in excess of, say, 75 miles per hour will subject your car to a ton of drag from the air around you. Granted this'll vary depending on a cars shape, but since the vast majority of production cars on the road do not have a smooth underbody or other aerodynamic goodies, expect drag to win. The faster you go, the more dramatic of an effect the drag has. A little bird once told me that a Volvo 850 rated at 25mpg Highway will only get 16mpg at speeds of 100mph. And it's not just your cruising speed that matters--it's how you get there. The higher the RPM you demand of your engine, the more fuel you should expect to burn. cost: free

Some of us, though, will never learn to drive as though our foot is made of a lightweight substance.

->Air Filter: A new air filter will work wonders for fuel economy and is often overlooked on a college student's car. At least once a year, throw a new air filter in your car. Engines, by and large, function like huge air pumps. When you press the "gas" pedal on a Fuel-Injected car, you're actually only letting air into the engine by way of the throttle-body--the car's computer then matches that air with the right amount of fuel. The air filter is meant to keep grit and debris and bugs from entering your cylinders and scratching up (read: destroying) the inside of your engine. As you drive, that filter gets clogged, and the engine gets choked for air. The affects performance, but also efficiency as it becomes harder for the engine computer match the air with the right amount of fuel. New air filters for domestic cars can be bought damn near anywhere that sells car-parts. Some European cars require a trip to the dealer. If neglected for years, this can starve several miles per gallon from your trusty ride, easily. Cost: $10-$20

->Tire Pressure: All of your tires should be filled to the pound-per-square-inch ratings for the particular car. This number can usually be found on a label in a door-well or near the gas cap, or in the little manual that came with your car. More important than the amount of air in the tires is that all of the tires are filled to the same pressure. If you haven't filled your tires since the weather got colder, chances are your tires are under-filled and costing you more fuel. Cost: Free. Or $0.50, now that air is a marketable commodity.

How to break a big fuckin' truck.

In case you were wondering, Streetsblog is a great source for the Liveable Streets movement. Through them I found this great gem, which is a good way to break the undercarriage of your car by trying to sneak into lanes reserved for mass transportation:

Retractable bollards.

However, if that's enough for you, here is a link to a super-high-tech retractable bollard. I saw that the staff at How To Break Stuff should really look into developing one of these. Then, we can aquire a big truck, and combine the two. A la this amazing video. Sha-zam!

How to Break my Heart

A recent reader asked us several questions, all of which we will get to in time. The most poignant at the moment, however, was, "How does one break your heart?" Well, Gavin and I discussed this over a somber meal at Illiano's last night.
One can break my heart in one of two ways:

1) Quoting Camus while wearing a chastity belt, or

2) Runing into a Mazda Miata with a Bulldozer.